Mulebone (Washington, D.C.)

Have you ever drove around in circles trying to find a restaurant because you didn’t know exactly where they were, even though you had the address?  Well, that was me.  Mulebone is located down the street from one of Washington D.C.’s most busiest areas, Adams Morgan.  I had trouble finding the restaurant because it’s in the exact same place that I used to frequent years ago which was Eatonville.  It was a cool spot for people to go to if they wanted a quick southern brunch.  I’m not exactly sure what happened to Eatonville, and it doesn’t matter anyways because Mulebone is here.  Although I wish Eatonville was still here, and maybe it is but the name of the restaurant may have changed, it will have a psychological effect on me because if they changed their name to be sub-par, I’d like to speak with the owners.  The interior of the restaurant is beautiful with its decoration of great African-Americans and heritage such as a Zora Neal Hurston shout out on the wall along with other important factors of the African-American community.

I was excited to go to this restaurant because I seen that they had a black-eyed pea hummus!  The only other time I had a black-eyed pea hummus is when I had it in Detroit.  I fell in love with that hummus and told myself if I ever seen it offered at a restaurant again it’s a must I order it.  I just want to say my excitement about this restaurant wore off quicker than a mother telling a son he could go outside to play, but the mailman showed up as soon as he opened the door with a failing report card.  I ordered more than four dishes because I wanted to make sure I was able to get a full experience from this place.  I ordered the Black and Blue Salad, Pickled Fried Green Tomatoes, Wilted Kale Salad, Buttermilk Fried Chicken, and Shrimp and Grits.  The first dish I ordered was the Black and Blue Salad which consisted of blackened blue catfish, black-eyed pea hummus, bitter greens, shaved fennel, and house dressing.  Maybe this is me being naive because the restaurant makes black-eyed pea hummus, but when you think about it, how the hell are you going to have a hummus with lettuce on it?  Does that even make sense?  The dish came out with a bunch of lettuce on it, and a piece of fish on the side.  The presentation lacked effort, excitement, and was damn near disrespectful.  I immediately called my waitress over to inform her that I didn’t want the dish.  I knew something was wrong when she said “What’s that?”  Exactly!  She then took a fork to show me where the hummus was, which was under the wilted lettuce.  Disgusting!  I may even have nightmares about this dish.  Someone needs to have a serious conversation with the “chef”.

The next dish that was ordered that I didn’t ask for it to be returned was the Fried Green Tomatoes.  What stood out to me most about this dish was the fact that they put “V” next to it on the menu.  The “V” stood for Vegetarian, but in all seriousness is meat usually included with Fried Green Tomatoes or are patrons that incompetent that we don’t know that Tomatoes aren’t meat?  Sigh.  I’d like to speak with the “chef” about this as well.  Anyways, it was decent.  I’m too upset to really discuss the taste of the dish.

The third dish that was ordered was the Wilted Kale Salad.  The Kale Salad consisted of fried oysters, poached egg, Jasper Hills aged white cheddar, pear, and sherry mustard vinaigrette.  This dish was pretty good, although the presentation sucked.  I’d like to speak to the “chef” about that.  (I’m sure you know where I’m going with the overall rating on this one).  There was a bunch of lettuce on the plate surrounded by four fried oysters and topped with a poached egg in the center.  The white cheddar definitely worked well with the pear and sherry mustard vinaigrette, but it even though the dish was pretty good, it lacked excitement.

One of the two main dishes that were ordered was the Buttermilk Fried Chicken which came with spiced honey, sautéed kale, and mac and cheese.  This dish wasn’t bad, in fact, really good! Well… If you like your kale being watered down or your Fried Chicken to have hair on it.  (see pictures below)  The only thing that was good about this dish was the fact that the macaroni and cheese didn’t suck.  The Fried Chicken was dry, not cleaned properly, and left in the fryer too long.  The Sauteed Kale tasted more like collard greens so I’m not quite convinced that I was eating Kale.  Kale has a bitter taste and has finer leaves, collard greens have more of a sweet taste with bigger leaves.  No matter what ingredients are used, you can taste the difference. I’ll need some convincing I actually ate Kale Greens “chef”.

Last but not least we have the Shrimp and Grits.  This dish was a “safe dish” and I’m glad I ordered it because I would’ve left hungry.  I’m a firm believer that if you order shrimp and grits and they don’t include Tiger Prawns the shells should be taken off of them before delivered to the customer.  It looks childish and un-thoughtful.  (Who care if unthoughtful is a word or not)  The flavors of the dish weren’t bad with the smoked andouille sausage that was included and the peppers that were mixed in.  The grits were cooked properly, not too creamy, not too thick.  I don’t have anything bad to say about the dish, which is surprising because of the overall trend I was having with the previous dishes.

Overall, this restaurant sucks.  I’m sorry.  No wait, why am I sorry?  If it sucks, it sucks.  I literally explained my displeasure of this restaurant during the review.  The waitress that I had wasn’t attentive, but kept coming back to the table every five minutes to ask if I was ok.  That was weird.  It was weird because I asked for lemon and lime in my water three times before she realized it didn’t come with my water.  I order lemon and lime for my water to mask the taste of the “finest tap water” that restaurants provide.  If you went to this restaurant, did you like it?  If so, what did you like about it?  I’m interested in hearing your point of view.  If you haven’t gone to this restaurant, let me know what you think when you do go.  As for the rating, the only reason why I didn’t give it a Deplane is because I didn’t die.

OVERALL RATING : MAY I SPEAK TO THE CAPTAIN