Florida Avenue Grill (Washington, D.C.)

I already know this restaurant is about to be fire (Genteelism), Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once ate here.  If a restaurant has been in business that long, there’s nothing no one can say negative about it without getting their asses beat.  (Can you imagine saying something bad about this place?  Hell has no fury, like Florida Avenue Grill)  Corny. Whatever.  The review, right?  You all want to hear about the review.  Okay, Okay.

The interior of this restaurant looks like it fits about 13 humans including the cooks.  No, just kidding, but if you’re looking for some fancy, smancy place, you’re in the wrong area.  This restaurant focuses on good food.  Good, soul food.  And you know what I’ve been saying about soul food.  It’s top 5 dead or alive, and it aint 3 through 5.  This restaurant has been in business since 1944 and is one of the best if not the best soul food restaurants in the area.

During my visit to this establishment I was able to indulge in two entrees.  The Fried Pork Chops with Okra and Tomatoes and Candied Yams was the first meal and the Croaker with Macaroni and Cheese and Collard Greens were my next order.  (Where’s a fucking editor when you need one?  Some how, I feel as though that was a run-on sentence)  I’ll start by discussing these perfectly fried golden brown Pork Chops.  When’s the last time you had a Fried Pork Chop?  I don’t eat them often, maybe once a quarter (that’s once every three months for the people in the back) and when I do eat them, they have to be paired with the finest of finest soul food sides.  They present two huge Fried Pork Chops in front of your face that can either be smothered in gravy or devoured without.  I opted for gravy on the side (not pictured, just know it’s amazing!).  The Pork Chops were perfectly seasoned and the breading was just right.  A side of Okra and Tomatoes along with Candied Yams were ordered as the side dishes.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my grandmother was in the kitchen.  These candied yams were the next best thing I’ve eaten, next to my grandmother’s candied yams, and that says a lot because hers is the best on the planet.  They had just the right amount of cinnamon, sugar, and butter added to them and packed flavor with each bite.  The Okra and Tomatoes were perfect, too.  They had a hint of spice to them and tasted fresh.  This taste like a soul food stew, but with more seasonings.

The second entree that was ordered was the Fried Croaker with Mac and Cheese and Collard Greens.  Croacker is a bone-in fish and is usually found in the Gulf of Mexico.  It’s related to the sea-trout and has a bit of sweetness to it.  Listen, if you go on a date and a person cuts up your steak, then they really like you, but, if you go on a date and your date picks out the meat on your Croacker, marry that person.  The Croacker isn’t a meaty fish, but it’s one that you should try if you’ve never had it.  Be careful not to eat the bones though, you may die.  And, I wouldn’t want you to do that if I don’t have a life-insurance policy taken out on you already.  (Insert evil laugh)  The two sides which were the Macaroni and Cheese and the Collard Greens put this dish to another level.  The Macaroni and Cheese was cheesy, with a slight burnt topping, and cooked al-dente.  The Collard Greens were made with love.  Someone’s great-grandmother was in the back cooking these greens.  Watching the Greens simmer, like they were watching a Lifetime movie.  (Shout out to She’s Too Young, the first and last Lifetime movie I’ve ever watched).  These greens also were hit with a hint of sugar.  You have perfectly seasoned Collard Greens with sugar added, I don’t know what more you could ask for.

Overall, this restaurant is a please go to.  I’m begging you.  Don’t take your date there if this is your first date.  Wait until she likes you and she doesn’t care where you take her, and she really means it.  (Sometimes it’s a set-up to see how cheap you are, don’t bite the Apple, Adam!)

OVERALL RATING : FIRST CLASS EXPERIENCE