Tail Up Goat (Washington, D.C.)

Michelin Star.  Opulence. Stupefying.  All of the words that characterized Tail Up Goat when others referenced the restaurant.  My words? Who? What? Where? When? Why?  Ahh.. Yes, the five W’s.  The Who?  Who gave this restaurant a Michelin Star?  What? What did you eat that was stupefying?  Where?  Were we at the same restaurant?  When?  When did your heart tell you that this place was excellent?  Why?  Why did everyone tell me this restaurant was excellent?

Tail Up Goat is located off of Adams Mill Rd in one of D.C.’s busiest area.  It specializes in Mediterranean and Caribbean-inspired drinks.  The plates that are offered are your traditional “small to large” plates depending on what you order.  I would describe this place as the type you can have for a date night or have a quick drink after work.  The menu changes daily, and it could possibly be the time that I went was an “off” night.  I don’t believe in restaurants having an “off” night, but I also do believe we are human and things aren’t perfect.  The interior is pretty nice, but it looks as though it seats no more than 60-70 people at a time.  I was able to get reservations on a Sunday because they happen to be available, but if you’re looking to go on a Friday or Saturday night you maybe waiting a month.

I’ll get right into my review of this restaurant. Several items were ordered including Rabbit Sausage, Garganelli, Lobster mushrooms, and Whole Stuffed Porgy.  I’ll start with the Rabbit Sausage.  It consisted of Fennel mostarda, and marinated radicchio.  A great flavorful dish that was presented on skewers.  Four small skewers were presented with Rabbit Sausage, Onions, and Radicchio.  The taste of the skewers were sweet and savory with a hint of spice.  This specific dish was good, but it didn’t knock me off of my feet.  It tasted more like a lighter version of pork but with more flavor.

The second dish that was ordered was the Garganelli.  It consisted of Octopus Ragu, anchovy, burnt orange, olive, and Aleppo breadcrumbs.  I wanted the breadcrumbs removed, because restaurants tend to throw breadcrumbs on a dish but it doesn’t help with presentation or consistency of the entire dish.  When breadcrumbs are thrown on top of a dish and not cooked in the over for a char or mixed with the dish in question, it shows that it has no real thought process.  The pasta was al-dente which is how I like my pasta to be, but nothing else stood out.  The anchovy was over powering and the octopus was cut so thin that you could argue it looked like sliced garlic.  The anchovy surrounded the dish and the overall dish had a pepperoni taste.  The overall dish wasn’t “exciting”, so that was little disappointing.

The third dish that was ordered were the Lobster Mushrooms.  So, before I go any further, Lobster is not apart of this dish.  This dish is a vegetarian dish.  It included black garlic gremolata, dendelion green plus almond salsa verde, and croutons.  I was excited about this dish because I love Mushrooms, but what I didn’t realize is that the dish would taste like charcoal.  It was bad.  I was disappointed.  I was sad.  I asked the waitress what was the taste the chef was going for, and she explained to me that it’s supposed to have a “smokey” taste to it.  Unfortunately, I had to send this dish back as it tasted as though I was eating charcoal.

Last but not least we  have the Whole Stuffed Porgy.  This dish was pretty good, but I did have to pull out a few bones.  The waitress explained to me that there were some bones in the fish, of course, but she did explain most of them were taken out.  I was thankful that the fish had its bone removed because I would’ve hated to had sat there and remove every single bone just to eat a little piece of meat.  The porgy was stuffed with Saffron Aioli, Cauliflower plus flame raisin stuffing, and almond.  This dish was for two, but it’s big enough for one person.  The fish was fresh and I demolished the entire thing, and the stuffing was sweet enough to eat at a Thanksgiving Dinner.

Overall this restaurant is a pass.  My hopes were extremely high because it was a “Michelin Star” restaurant, but even those restaurants aren’t the best.  I didn’t see any Goat on the menu which common sense would tell you that you should expect it, but of course most restaurants don’t have the title of their place on their menu for dining.  If you decide to go, I hope you have a better experience than me.

OVERALL RATING : STUCK ON THE RUNWAY